10.05.2008

Shameless


Recently I was talking with a friend about how he pays his children a nickel for each piece of Halloween candy that they surrender from their stash, and a dime for any full size candy bars, and then he throws it away. Of course he does all of this to try and keep his kids healthy.

I really should be embarrassed about my thoughts/plotting that followed our conversation. I soon pondered how I would likely do the same thing with my future kids, minus the whole throwing away part. Instead, I would buy from their stash for a low price, and keep "mommy's secret stash" somewhere for when I needed a sweet fix. Genius if you ask me. I'm joking by the way. Kind of.

My thoughts then wandered to how I would never admit to my children that . . .
  • The typical plastic jack-o-lantern head with a handle was never a sufficient companion for trick-or-treating. The pillowcase was always the better choice.

  • I would go to the rich neighborhoods because big/expensive houses = big/expensive candy.

  • I would not go to bed on Halloween night, until my stash was dumped out on my floor and strict inventory was taken to see what candy I had the most of that year. Dang Tootsie Rolls always won.

  • In a somewhat OCD manner, I would line up all my candy by type and size, and then throw away any of the nasty mystery candies that were wrapped in those unmarked, generic orange and black wrappers.

7 comments:

Stephanie said...

I can tell you've thought a lot about this.

Poulton Family said...

You are so funny Suz. However, I have to admit that I would do some of the following as well. Have a Happy Halloween!

Lauren said...

Hey you should be back in town now, how was your trip?? Already plotting ways of stealing candy from your kids, that is funny!

Kristy and Brett said...

Ha this is hilarious, I love it! I would keep the candy for "mommy's stash" too.

jenorme said...

You're lucky Missy didn't come in and stick her finger in the middle of all your candy bars to check for razor blades. :)

Was it your "secret stash" that brought ants to our bedroom that one year? Hmmm..interesting thought. Your secret stash would melt now anyway because of the air nazi in your house. :)

Hannah said...

I laughed while reading this... but something to consider: My dad would take out a "halloween tax" every year after taking us trick or treating as payment for his time. We had to agree to it in order to go. Worth considering... ;-)

Tasha Christensen said...

You are a funny writer and have a great sense of humor - I have never heard back from you -so not sure if this is okay - but had to comment on your posts.